


Prompt: Remember That Time When....

by depugnare



Series: Black Sails Tumblr Drabbles [15]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Domestic, Drabble, M/M, Old Married Couple, Post-Canon, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 23:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depugnare/pseuds/depugnare
Summary: “Scourge of the seas, weak for a piece of fruit tart. If only your enemies had known you could be brought down by a bit of sugar.”





	Prompt: Remember That Time When....

Thomas comes home to a mess. There’s feathers in the front yard, the chopping block is turned over, and he can hear the tea kettle whistling angrily inside. 

Thinking he’s about to find James on the floor, he rushes inside their cottage, only to actually find him in a standoff with their enormous rooster. He’s got his knife pointed at the bird and the bird is clucking angrily as it shows its spurs.

“What on  _earth_  are you doing?” Thomas demands, setting down his packages from the store on the table. “You were supposed to collect eggs!”

“This bastard chased me out of the hen yard!” James complains, waving his knife at the rooster. 

The rooster makes a low whining noise and ruffles its wings threateningly.

“Oh fuck you!” James says, flinging the knife at the bird and sending it running with a screech when it thuds into the wall next to its head.

“Yes, put a hole in the wall, that’s the mature way to deal with this,” Thomas huffs, expertly grabbing the rooster when it runs by and tossing it outside.

“How did you do that?”

“Well, I suppose it’s because I’m not intent on murdering him for annoying me,” Thomas says, starting to unpack the foodstuffs and other things he’d bought. James peers into one of the bags and makes an outraged noise.

“Prunes?!” he says, looking in horror at Thomas.

“They’re not for you, relax,” Thomas says, taking out the jar of offending fruit. “They’re for the neighbors.”

James makes a disgusted face, leaning away when Thomas waves the jar around in his face. The prunes rattle around ominously and he practically turns green.

“You’d think that an old sailor would like dried food more,” Thomas says. “Especially one made of fruit.”

“Prunes are a work of evil,” James says, making a noise of triumph when he finds a jar of strawberry preserves. “Absolutely disgusting.”

“ **Remember that time when-**?”  
  
“That your cook made prune soup?” James finishes. “Yes, unfortunately. Almost worse than the time your bastard father showed up. Actually, it  _was_  worse. I threw your father out. I was unable to dump the prunes onto the carpet.”

Thomas laughs, handing him a bit of pastry as well. James takes it and scarfs it down, which only makes Thomas laugh harder.

“Scourge of the seas, weak for a piece of fruit tart. If only your enemies had known you could be brought down by a bit of sugar.”

“I cannot stand you, you know that?”

“Of course,” Thomas says, coming over to push him up against the counter for a kiss. “I think we’d be rather bored with all that twitterpated things old married couples do.”

“Like bringing each other sweets?”

“Or trying to make tea?” Thomas says, leaning over to take the kettle away from the fire. “Knew I’d be home soon, did you?”

“I always know,” James says with a smirk. “I can see you coming from a mile away, giant that you are.”

Thomas scowls and holds up the jar of prunes again, making James groan and try to get away.

“That’ll teach you,” he huffs, going over to take the teacups down from the top shelf. “And to think I was going to let you have the whole tart.”

James immediately sits down, hands folded perfectly on the table.

“That’s what I thought.”


End file.
